The Night Before (Automobile Edition)
T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the lot there were Mustangs, and Broncos, and even Passats.
Blues, and reds, and colors galore, something for everyone at this discount car store.
Parked all so nicely in neat little rows, shiny and clean all ready to go.
I marveled and wondered at the beauty around, in the silence of snowfall there wasn’t a sound.
When out on the lot arose a great bang! Santa was cursing, “hot diggity dang!”
Rudolf was limping and his nose bloody red, not sure about the others, but it seemed they were dead.
The weather was rough, and now Santa was caught, he’d just crashed his sleigh in this discount car lot!
Without saying a word, Santa scooted right by, the Bronco cranked up and Rudolf said “hi.”
They loaded the back and smoked filled the sky as the Bronco revved up and then Santa waved bye.
With my mouth still gaping and my eyes full of fright, I heard “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Thank goodness for Broncos and discount car lots, or there’d be no Christmas for the world’s tiny tots.
This Little Bird
I hear you every morning.
Sometimes I curse the sound.
This little bird just chirping, pecking at the ground.
Who are you calling to?
A friend a mile away?
You seem to have a lot of very loud things to say.
Sing a pretty song, chirp a gentle tune.
Stop yelling like a wolf howling at the moon!
I really want to like you.
You’re most pleasing to the eye.
Is it wrong that in my stupor, I’m wishing you would die?
(No birds were harmed in the making of this poem)
Words Are Weird
Ever asked the question “Why’s a chair a chair?” Who thought that stringy tendrils should surely be called “hair?”
How did “boogers” get their name and where’s the one that thought that up? Whoever named the fork a “fork?” Who named the cup a “cup?”
I’ll cover my feet with something! Yes! That’s just what I’ll do. I’ll cover my feet with something and call that thing a “shoe!”
I’ll build this thing to take me places; surely it will float. When I’m done with this floating apparatus, I think I’ll call it “boat!”
Why’s a dog a “dog” and why’s a cat a “cat?” Who placed something on their head and decided to call it a “hat?”
Who looked at the stubs sticking off their feet and thought, “I’ll call you, my toes!” I have absolutely no idea how that story goes.
I’ll wrap this cloth around my body and the top will be called…. A “SHIRT!” Let’s see, I’ve got the top part named so the bottom must be…. A “SKIRT!”
I know there’s a formal name already but I’ll still do my part. I’ll now call this bodily function not gas, but a… “fart!”
Pirates surely wouldn’t care; it’s really an important duty; I think I’ll steal the pirate word and now my backside is my “booty.”
Let’s take this loopy figure and call it an “eight” although it might be hard to keep “ate” and “eight” straight.
Where do words come from, these made-up mindful thoughts? These creative combinations of letters cleverly tied in knots.
Have you ever stopped to think just how they came to be? Whatever made you “you” and whatever made me “me?”
These are questions left to answer perhaps another day, for now let’s just be grateful words put thought to what we say.